Be thankful! You’re loved! Now eat these potato tortillas!

turns out beaver porn is a thang

Jayhawk for life. Music nerd. President of the cilantro hate club. Where’s the pizza?

🌲✨Ran away to the woods ✨ 🌲

You know me, I like things better when they’re unnecessarily complex and convoluted. Raising spirits and heart rates.

I miss that rug. It really tied the room together. That's just like your opinion man. This aggression will not stand man. I abide

Satire is fun. I know how to drive a manual transmission car. The oxford comma is not a choice, it is a necessity.

Banned from @tinder for life. Host of 24 Hour Baco Tell Drive Through. Donated all powerball earnings to Planned Parenthood and the NRA.

I have a bucket of fuck-its and no fucks to give. “Merch”. https://t.co/OYY0IMMrhC